Make Me A Supermodel: Episode 7

Swinging '60s, bitches!

"Who's Andy Warhol?" Oh please. Between Rumspringa Sally here and never-touched-a-boob Colin, we've about had our fill with the "wide-eyed naif" stereotypes.

Say what you will about the show, but these spoiled little brats are getting quite the opportunity just by being on it. Most just-starting-out models don't have portfolios filled with world-class photography, hair, and makeup.

Bitch, please. Just say it: ANY boob is scary to you. We don't like to speculate about people's orientation but we long ago gave up on the illusion that this kid is straight.

"BOOBS!!"

Because THAT'S how a young, dumb, and full of cum straight guy responds to the question.

What an amazing shot. We were okay with the pick for the winner, but it astonishes us that this shot got virtually no mention from the judges. Jordan and Jonathan have fantastic chemistry together and they play off each other really well. The only criticism we have - and it's a slight one - is that Jonathan's not giving the best possible face here.

God, what an awful shot. Like Jenny said in the judging, it doesn't even look like they're occupying the same space. They're both giving terrible face and (this isn't 100% her fault) Kerryn's hair, makeup and dress look awful.

Another stunning shot. The "pointing at the camera" pose could look awfully cheesy, but it works for the setting. They're supposed to look like a couple of players, after all. Branden amazes us. In video (and probably in person), he's a cute guy, but when he's photographed, all the planes of his face come together in a way they wouldn't under any other circumstances. That's the mark of a model. Sandhurst is striking under any circumstances.

A pretty decent shot considering:

a: They hate each other
b: Amanda is so bland, and
c: We hate to say it, but Laury simply isn't attractive enough to be a model. It's not just that her face is unremarkable; it's that it looks hard in pictures. She comes off looking at least a decade older than she is.

Fantastic shot. The result of several factors coming together, not the least of which is both girls look great side by side, and because of their short hair and big eyes, it was child's play to make them up to look like the period. We loved the Jonathan/Jordan shot, but this one just had all the right elements in play.

So Salome and Mountaha get the go-see. It's not even worth screencapping because the minute they walked into the place, it was obvious they were the wrong girls for the job. Let's do runway instead!

We HATED this challenge. It was just too damn stupid for words. Sure, models, especially when they're starting out, have to do some pretty low-rent stuff, but judging them on how good they look in trashbags and masking tape is damn silly. And we wanted to scream when they referred to this crap as "couture."

Although we admit, it did separate the wheat from the chaff. Colin and Keryn did a TERRIBLE job.

And once again, these two managed to polish a turd. They didn't look great by any stretch, but they had fun with it and did the best possible walk under the circumstances.

When it was down to these four, we said "Screw the double elimination. Just make it a quadruple."

Whatever promise Colin showed at the beginning has long evaporated and he's not growing or going anywhere. Unless he pulls out some sort of amazing turnaround next week, he should be going home next.

Kerryn's another one who used up any goodwill. She's had some good moments, but as the judges said, she's "fading." Besides, no matter how good she might be, she failed the photoshoot AND the runway in the same week. That spells "sayonara."

And Laury simply doesn't have it. The looks, the presence, or the professionalism.

She gets the prize for all-time sorest winner, though. Sure, Salome's win seemed a little arbitrary to us but attacking her on the way out the door? Not cool, honey.

[Photos: Bravotv.com/Roxanne Lowit - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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