Auf Wiedersehen 1

WTF?!?

WTF, WTF, WTF?!?!?!

Blah blah blah. Final challenge, blah blah, inspiration, blah, Getty Museum, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, only five left, blah, blah.

Blah, Monet, blah.


*sob*

It's hard not to write "FUCK YOU, BUNIM/MURRAY!!!!!"

Oh, wait. We just did.

Model: Matar Cohen

Seriously, when the show pulls out crack-smokery like this, it's always difficult the next morning to come up with a cogent, reasoned response. And why should we, you ask? Well, because "FUCK YOU!!!!" responses are not exactly hard to find on the internet and we try to be a little better than that.

Better than a "FUCK YOU!!!" response. Which is why we rarely ever write it.

"FUCK YOU!!!" That is.

To Bunim/Murray. So it would read like this:

"FUCK YOU, BUNIM/MURRAY!!!!"

As you can see, we're better than that.

Christ, what are we supposed to say here? We saw the final collections back in February. Once the designers established their aesthetics, it wasn't hard to figure out who was in the final three. For us, it was all about waiting to see how they got to that point.

So when this beautiful dress came out and blew all the other dresses out of the water, and then when all the judges admitted that it was a beautiful dress and the only one that truly looked inspired by the inspiration, we thought, "Were we wrong? Is Gordana in the final three?" Because even jaded, cynical long-time PR commenters like us couldn't figure out how she could be auf'd if the judges loved her dress.

We STILL can't figure it out. And while we don't want to take any of the deserved blame away from the judges - especially Nina with her "I don't know who she is" crap. NEWSFLASH, CHICA: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS BECAUSE YOU WERE FLYING ALL OVER THE WORLD WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SITTING IN THAT JUDGES SEAT - the fact of the matter is, this has producer manipulation written all over it.

After all, they found themselves in this predicament before. In season 3, they couldn't decide who to send home after judges' pet Michael made a crappy dress and judge's punching bag Uli made a beautiful dress, so they sent all 4 of them to Bryant Park. In season 4, they couldn't make up their minds so they sent all 5 designers to Bryant Park.

We realize that the lawsuit was hanging over this production the whole time and no one involved in the show was really on their game, but why couldn't they do as the Magical Elves did and just give the woman her damn due? She clearly NAILED the challenge. Send her to Bryant Park, for Christ's sake. Would it have killed them to have someone not young and perky in the finale?

As for the dress, well, it's not that we love it all that much, but we love the thought behind it and we really love the technical skill she brought to it.

But frankly, those judges should be ashamed of themselves. They certainly looked it. That was the most sheepish judging session we've ever seen. Why not just have the producers standing behind them and whispering everything in their ears on camera? It wouldn't have been any less obvious.

Extended Judging:


Tim Gunn's Workroom Critique


Exit Interview:




[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Videos: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Gordana

Don't hate us!

Darlings, we know she's popular among the viewers and we know that a lot of you want to lock Heidi in a room somewhere for being mean to her - and we like her too! Honestly! She's a sweetheart! - but that doesn't mean everything she does is golden. In fact, we think she's been floundering in the competition as much as Christopher has.

Show of hands: who thought she was going home when this popped up on the screen?

Model: Matar Cohen

And who thought she was going home when THIS popped up on the screen? Because we did.

Oy. Honeys, sweet as she is, there's just no defending this look. It's limp and it's sad and it's got all these weird details that we can't quite wrap our heads around.

It's strange to us that she chose yet another grey look. Last week she was defensive about using grey, so why return to it this week?

Sure, the original look was grey but that's no reason to return to it. Companion pieces don't necessarily have to be the same color; they just have to evoke the original piece in some way.

ANd to be honest, we don't really see how this evokes the original piece. What were the elements of the original piece? Asymmetrical collar, strips of fabric cut on the bias creating a diagonal effect, with frayed seams.

Well, she got the frayed seams part, but that's about it. We can't say we particularly like the seaming here. In fact we think it's kind of weird looking.

And we really hate that limp, formless collar. And the styling! Why do that to Matar's hair? She looks sad. A sad girl wearing a sad outfit. Rosa Klebb on a bad hair day.

No, we can't get behind this one at all. There were a lot of strange, indefensible choices made here that we just don't get. The original piece had an edgy, sexy vibe to it and we've looked high and low, but we can't find any similar such vibe on this look.

Nick kinda nailed it when he compared it Soviet-era office wear, but apparently Nick's been feeling the wrath from the Polish viewers. As he wrote on his blog:

"And to my Angry Polish Bretheren:

I hear that you are a bit miffed at my "She looks like an office Worker from Warsaw Poland" comment regarding Gordana Gelhausen's sad grey suit look. Sorry I wasn't specific enough, I meant to say "From pre-Cold War Communist Warsaw Poland..." You see in TV land, you must be brief with your comments. I didn't mean to be disrespectful to office workers in Warsaw Poland--it was a joke kiddies. I am sure that there are A LOT of sexy, glamorous and beautiful office workers in Warsaw Poland--and I am sure I will hear from them! You can go ahead and say that all Greek and Venezuelan office workers look sad and gray--and I won't take it personally."

Don't mess with the Gordana fans, Uncle Nick. They are FIERCELY protective of their girl.

Extended Judging:


Tim Gunn's Workroom Critique:



[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Videos: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Bottom Boys 3.0

Bottom boys ain't got no style.

With this week's episode, Christopher has gone from being in the top three three times to being in the bottom three four times. Has anyone in the history of the show made that precipitous a fall, ever?

We were early supporters of the guy but with that many low showings - and worse, declaring each showing to be among your best work - we're left with the uncomfortable prospect that he's more of a dressmaker than a designer, at least at this stage.

Model: Matar Cohen

This? Doll clothes. Seriously. There's about as much design and detailing in this look as there is in the average cheap 6-outfit set for a Barbie knockoff you can find in the bargain bins by the register.

There's nothing there. Okay, yes. A belt. But that's it. That was the beginning and the end of his design process. Everything else wasn't just basic, it was practically invisible.

Technically, he did a decent job, but then again, we can't see anything here that even comes close to technically challenging.

It's just clothes. The kind of outfit you could put together for practically no money from practically any department store. That shouldn't be what Project Runway is about.

Personally, we adore the guy and we think he's made some very nice stuff both on and off the show, but we can't help thinking his trick bag is empty. He's going to have to pull out a major design for us to have faith again.

Um... ditto?

Seriously, we could just copy and paste the above captions and they'd be perfectly applicable.

Model: Celine Chua

At the sight of this ensemble, The Duchess flicked open her fan and reminded us why she's The Duchess: "They're clothes, they're not fashion."

EXACTLY.

There is virtually no sense of design or style to these pieces.

Like Christopher's belt, the only thing of any interest here are the suspenders and even they aren't exactly providing a focal point.

Exactly the same criticism applies: These could be picked up for nothing at a million stores the world over.

In fact, the more we look at these two looks, the more we think it was wrong of the judges to send Nicolas home. Sure, his look was off-concept, but at least it was designed. At least it had some detailing and a certain style to it. Lorenzo thinks Logan definitely should have gone home and Tom would have been fine if either of these two went home. All we can think is, if Nina had been sitting in that chair more often, these two never would have made it this far, with one boring outfit after another.

Extended Judging:





[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Videos: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The "You may leave the runway"s

We're exhausted, but we're never too tired to rip a bitch.

Okay, Gordana. Very shrewd. You knew we were going to rip this week's entry to shreds so what did you do? You sent us a very sweet email. Clever girl.

But we're still going to rip this dress.

Honestly, (and we feel a little bad saying this now) we were wondering what the hell her problem was this week. She had immunity, the only time in the competition when you shouldn't be stressed out, and she was stressing out like crazy. We tend to think she's not cut out for a competition like this, but she's still in the game, so she must be doing something right.

Model: Matar Cohen

Unfortunately, she didn't do anything right with this look.

Everything from concept to execution was an auf'able offense. First, why did she make what's clearly a red carpet type dress?

Second, dear God, what is going on with those cups?

And third, what is going on with, oh, let's say...EVERYTHING ELSE? Seriously, we're sorry to hear she was sick, but she's damn lucky she had immunity because this was a clear automatic auf. Even Shirin's dress was better than this.

Nicolas: "Irina is actually a really good designer. The only problem with her is that she's a bitch."

We know most of y'all hate her but we find her the one bright spot this season. Come on, we all know it's been pretty boring so we're thankful that SOMEONE decided to step up and be the bad guy. Where would Project Runway be without a little smack-talking?

Model: Celine Chua

Besides, at least she can back it up with solid work. Don't get us wrong, this was far from a winning look, but it was still a pretty decent effort.

Let's get to the criticism first: why she decided a coat was a good idea for stagewear, we'll never know. Sure, it gives her the option of a reveal, but the coat is so plain.

And the design is only so-so. It's well-made and appropriately body-baring and glittery, but it deserved its middle of the road status.

Still, unlike a lot of the other entries, it at least looked like something you'd see on stage. Unfortunately, that stage would be a soundstage on the MGM lot in 1942 and the wearer would be "chorus girl #17," tap-tap-tapping her heart out with 40 other girls in the same outfit.

Tim Gunn's Workroom Critique:





[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com/msn.com - Videos: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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