LML: Runway Rundown Part 2

Let's wrap it up, put a stamp on it, and mail it, kittens.

Patrick & Roberto

But first, a correction, because we are so very ethical here at T Lo Communications International. We had been informed through various sources that Roberto had designed the dress Carrie Underwood wore to perform at the AMAs; the dress that was shockingly similar to one of the dresses from Carol Hannah's finale collection for Project Runway. Well, we heard straight from the horse's ass mouth that, while he has designed stagewear for Carrie, he did NOT design the CH ripoff dress.

There. Consider yourself informed. Moving right along...

We're all for CHDQs who know how to maximize their camera time. Despite all the crying of "I don't watch these shows for DRAMA!" the fact of the matter is, when there isn't any drama (see: PR seasons 4 and 6), the general consensus among the viewership is that the season is boring.

So, fine. Yay for the CHDQs, we say. Only, there's the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it, and Roberto here is definitely doing it the wrong way. For one, it's way too obvious. He might as well wear a sign around his neck that says, "NOTICE ME!!!!!" For another, he's just coming across as an asshole, plain and simple.

And for all the drama...

This team once again produced an ugly and unflattering look.

Not to mention that it barely looks sewn at all.

We'll give them credit for this, though: they do have an interesting sense of color and print, although we'd like to see them both get away from purple.

Kevin & Akiko

What to say about these two? She seems like a doormat half the time and he somehow got the idea in his head that fashion design is akin to cage fighting. To her we say, "Stand up, girl!" and to him we say, "Tone it down, buddy. It's a dress, not warfare."

Yikes. We barely recognized Amanda here in her "hooker secretary" getup. Why is it that those who provide the most drama almost always produce the worst garments?

It's a rhetorical question, of course. They provide all the drama because deep down they know their output is not up to par with other contestants'. Call it The Pepper Factor.

Tacky, ugly, unflattering.

Louanna & Jim

Even though we thought last week's winning garment was way over-praised, these two comprise another team that bears watching. She has taste and he has skills and let's face it, that's all you need to win this contest.

We're not super-crazy about the fabric picked for the sarong, but the swimsuit is pretty hot.

Although it would leave some very strange tan lines.

Marilyn & Coco

More drama for your mama. Quick psychoanalysis: Marilyn is a control freak and Coco is passive-aggressive.

We enjoy reality show drama in many forms, but we cannot abide the "I'm tired" excuse. You tried out for this show and unlike the (probable) hundreds of other tryouts, you got picked to be on it. Suck it up and quitcher bitchin'.

We still think kimonos make for strange beach attire, but as designs go, this isn't terrible.

What's terrible are the fabric choices. That lining is a little on the tacky side, but it might have worked if it hadn't been paired with that satin-y yellow.

Seriously, who wears shiny fabrics to the beach?



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

To hell with your holiday shopping! We've got dresses to rip!

Kathy & Emil


Y'know, all things considered, this wasn't that bad.

The good parts: the shape and the colors.


The bad part: tentacles.

Plus the fact that a mini-kimono doesn't exactly call to mind the beach. Still, it was an interesting attempt.

Vanessa & Tressa


IT'S A CHRISTMAS CRACKTACULAR!

It is also, of course, quite awful. Even if we could embrace the, shall we say, campier aspects of this look...

...we just can't get past the sheer ugliness of that...

... and that. Indefensible craft project crap.

In other news, Tressa...

...designed this dress, which was worn by HeidiKlum Samuel recently.

Merle & Thai


Man, were these bitches ever robbed.

That skirt, with its layered hems, is gorgeous.

And sure, the sleeves were a little gimmicky, but since each entry is supposed to be part of a line, Merle has already established that her line is supposed to be gimmicky.


Bottom line: even though this team was egregiously ignored, there's no doubt in our minds that they're definitely the ones to beat going forward. They have a clear concept for their line and a sense of style to make it interesting.


[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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Launch My Line S1E2: Congrats & Goodbye

Which way to Puff Daddy's, bitches?

Despite the outrageously cracktacular judging (which we suspect is a feature, not a bug), this episode gave us everything we were looking for: drama, clothes, bitches.



You know what? We really LIKE the way they do challenges on this show. For one thing, they're meant to be progressive and cumulative. They literally are designing their line all season rather than just churning out responses to various jump-through-the-hoop schemes. And while the challenges don't showcase the kind of creativity one hopes to see in dresses made out of car parts and cut flowers, we like them for their specificity, and clear boundaries, very much in the mode of what a smart designer would ask themselves while trying to launch a line.

With this challenge, they had to design for a daytime event at the beach; choose one of two selected silhouettes and incorporate that into the design (butterfly or jelly fish); incorporate orange into the design; and find inspiration at Venice Beach, all done after consulting with trend expert, Sally Lohan, who kind of sounded like the Super Nanny. Now THAT'S a challenge! None of this airy, editorial, New York fashion stuff. You want to sell clothes? Here's a list of what you need in your line. It's all very company-controlled, small market stuff and we kind of love the show for that; for bringing something different to the table.

And in that vein of treating it more as a business than a calling, we get to see the brand new logos for the lines:






It's weird how they all felt inspired to mention the Real Housewives in their logos, though.

And Bravo? Let us just say this about that: speaking as viewers, we can assure you that anyone who watches Bravo for more than an hour a week is WELL AWARE of the existence of the Real Housewives and what is going on in their world. You can lay off on plastering updates all over the screen.


So, uhhh...Congratulations, DJ Guy?

Really, judges? This?

Clearly the twins have a love of the flashier side of fashion, because they were the ones who seemed to respond more positively to this than the other judges.




But come ON, fashion pixies. We're all for the glitzier stuff, but this is just tacky. Mariah Carey would take one look at this and be all, "Bitch, please. I don't like butterflies THAT much."

And Mrs. Robinson here is taking control of the ship. She kept saying, "I was a party girl," and we kept thinking, "Honey? The operative word here is 'was.'" Because that is one nineties-ass-looking motherfucker you churned out. J Lo called. She's time traveling to 1996 and needs something to wear.

And a hearty farewell to architect guy, who surprised us by mentioning a wife. We were getting the cute nerdy Jewish gay vibe off him. Oh well. Can't be right all the time.

But we were right about one thing: by about 15 minutes into the episode we were both saying, "He needs to GO." Nice enough guy, but clearly has no concept of how to approach fashion.

"It's not a wall. It's a dress."

They dress like Mr. Rogers, they sound like they're in the Lollipop Guild, and they're bitches. What is not to love here?

FUCKING HIDEOUS.

Oh, jeez. That was a little harsh. It's just that when we see this "outfit," we --

JESUS CHRIST. SO UGLY.

Wow. We didn't expect to get so emotionally invest--



OUR EYES ARE OFFENDED RIGHT NOW.

Remember when Kors said this past season on PR, "This is clothes, not fashion?" Well, we can't even say THAT. These are pieces of fabric stitched together awkwardly to cover private bits, not clothes.

Like we said, sweet guy, but this kind of scorched-earth implosion left no doubt in our minds that he should stick to architecture.


[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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