LML: Runway Rundown Part 2

Let's finish this.

Merle & Thai

Ahh, Merley. Entertaining you may be with your bitchery, but at the end of the day, you're just another reality show contestant whose head got a little too puffy and paid the price for it.

Because girl? You had no cause to be walking around like you shit ice cream.

Sure, the judges liked some of your previous pieces, but let's put that in perspective, shall we? A couple of weirdly robotic, helium-voiced, Children of the Corn Wonder Twinks and a couple of loud, mannish "style experts" liked your shit. That's no reason to be swanning around like you're Coco Chanel. Come on now.

The jacket's not a bad idea, but the back looks weirdly unfinished, like it's going to fall apart.

And of course, she has a scrotum for some reason.

Aside from that, good job! Now shut up and stop acting like you've got this in the bag, because you don't.

Sage Chick & Bean Pole

We're really starting to come around to the Kathy side. She's a little goofy, but dammit, she keeps doing interesting things.

In fact, we kind of think she should have won it this week. If you're going to throw words like "wild card" and "avant garde" at the designers without further explanation of what the challenge is, then this look pretty much blew all the others out of the water.

Sure, that skirt's way too much and we don't even like the fabric all that much...

But that bodice is AMAZING. That alone was enough for us. Especially in the sea of mediocrity and pure crack that normally passes for fashion on this show.

[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

Arrrh, matey!

Patrick & Roberto

It's kind of endearing how Patrick always looks absolutely terrified whenever he has to face the judges. We don't know why. They obviously have no taste whatsoever.

They gave this a pass, didn't they?

Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens. Now who do you see?

That's right. NO ONE. No woman in her right mind would ever wear this unless a gun was held to her head by a crazed fashion designer (i.e., Roberto).

Seriously? Come on now.

It's so bad that it's not even deserving of a critique.

That is the cheapest-looking, ugliest fabric we've seen in a long time. It out does even the DJ's tacky disco ball dress. We've always been completely comfortable with the idea that this show doesn't have any credibility from a fashion point of view, but how about some credibility in the "not making us throw up from the searing eye pain" point of view?

Louanna & Jim

We just don't know about this one, kittens. We're not really trying to defend it, but put up against some of the shitdresses this crowd throws out, it's practically a CFDA winner.

What is with the drag queen aesthetic on this show? We don't mind it so much, but it's a little weird how over the top every look is. Granted, when you don't have talent, the best thing to do is go as wild as you can go.

Which is strange, because Louanna and Jim DO have some talent and have shown some admirable restraint. This looks more like something that would come from Marilyn and Coco.

Those sleeves are interesting, we have to admit. We tend to think that such a dramatic flourish should only be applied to a very minimalist design.

And granted, the dress is sleek and the other embellishments, like this one, are low-key.

But coupled with the shiny, and the ridiculous length and volume, not to mention the frigging eye patch, it just adds up to way too much.

But at least Laverne has a gown for the next Bottler's Ball. Shirley must be pissed.

[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Launch My Line: Congrats & Goodbye

This show has lost ALL credibility with us!
HAHA! Just kidding!
It never HAD any!

The sweet, creamy crack was flowing last night. For one, no one seemed to know what the hell the challenge was supposed to be. Create a "wild card" look! Using these sunglasses! And it should be avant garde! Okay producers, you need to up your ritalin intake because that made ZERO sense.

She was actually pretty cool and sweet about the whole thing. We like her.

Especially since it looked to us like she deliberately picked the one fabric that was going to be most problematic for the designers to use. Gotta love a stealth bitch.

What the hell kind of DJ doesn't know who Lady Gaga is? All this time we thought he was some sort of Miami club DJ but now we're thinking he just does weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

Props where they're due: even though she's annoying as hell and hasn't ever previously demonstrated anything approaching taste, at least she knew he was coming up with a super-tacky design. Then again....

He won, didn't he? Let us repeat that while you take a good look at that picture. HE WON. FOR THAT.

If it was one of those instances where he won by default because everything else on the runway looked like shit, we could understand it, but no. The judges actually loved this.

Now, we've never treated this show like anything but the guilty pleasure reality TV it is, but even we had to do a little rethink after this. Any judge who raves about this dress should immediately recuse themselves from ever having anything whatsoever to do with the fashion industry ever again.



Sure, it's made well, for the most part, and it's not like it's some sort of fashion catastrophe, but come ON. It's CLEARLY the cheapest, tackiest-looking thing one could ever come up with. We sat there and listened to the judges raving about it and we were all "Seriously? SERIOUSLY?"

The problem with that judging panel is there's no one there to look at the rest of them and say "Are you NUTS?" the way Nina would. It's 4 people who all seem to have the exact same taste and the exact same approach to judging. All they do is agree with each other. That's no fun.

Darlings, you know we have the utmost respect for women but last night we were both in agreement that if we had to deal with this annoying little pain in the ass, they would have had to pull us off her. Don't worry though, we probably would have just pulled her hair a little bit and made really nasty comments.

Up till now, we were of the opinion that both Marilyn and Coco were pretty much evenly matched in the annoying department but Marilyn deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for not going after this passive-aggressive little bitch with a pair of scissors.

After all, what would YOU do if you said this:

And the response you got was this:
Marilyn honey, you're a SAINT.

As for the dress, yeah it was bad but you know who should have gone home last night and it wasn't this team.

It was another in a line of over-the-top diva clothes. No, it wasn't good, but we really didn't understand it when the twins said her line wasn't cohesive. It may not be to our taste, but her stuff has been among the MOST cohesive in the group. Every outfit looked like it belonged in the closet of the same woman.

But man, was that ass shield ever ugly.

And come on, that was just stupid.



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown Part 2

Kittens! We completely forgot about this show!

Sage Chick and Bean Pole (sue us, we can't remember their names):

They seem to have a pretty good working relationship. Drama-free and productive. Must be the sage.

We'll say this: we don't know if it's one or both of them, but collectively, they do have a great color sense.

It's not a bad little dress. It's a bit simplistic with minor touches of interest, like the draping.

But it's the belt that really makes it. We're not fond of that braiding they always return to, but the pop of color is really nice and we always were suckers for an orange/blue combo. Just look at our front page.

But enough about the dress. What's really important is that sage girl...

...looks like she belongs on a box of salt.

Attention Whore and Fancy Man:

We suspect the producers drugged one or both of them. How else to explain their relatively low-key performance this week?

And how else to explain the sheer shitasticness of this thing? You heard it here first: drugs.

Yikes. We'll say it: there's not one thing about this dress that we like, starting with that hideous print, which screams "Christmas sweater."

We guess we should commend them for not using it in such a way as to actually look like a Christmas sweater, what with all the strings and asymmetry and gewgaws and foofarah, but that's about the only thing we can commend them on: not making their hideous fabric look even more hideous.

Seriously, the entertainment value of these two (if such a thing ever existed) has long been depleted. Time to go.

In other news, the next episode brings the gay and the fabulous in a big loud way with the appearance of Lady Gaga. Gotta hand it to Bravo. The best Lifetime can do for their season premiere is a reality TV star who was interesting for about 5 minutes 5 years ago, but tacky little LML lands one of the hottest recording artists of the moment.





[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Video: BravoTV.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspor.com]


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