Congratulations AND Auf Wiedersehen!

Don't look at us! We had nothing to do with it!

Oh, Tim. We could practically hear the cancer cells forming on your skin. We hope you scheduled a doctor's appointment right after shooting ended.

A completely fucked up challenge which yielded fucked up results that ended with fucked up decisions by the judges. We hate to say it, but here it is, folks. Here's the episode that proved that producer manipulation is alive and well under the new regime.

With the announcement of the "original" challenge, we groaned and rolled our eyes and thought "Whatever." They were bound to do some sort of beach-based challenge once they set the show in L.A. It's not the kind of thing we want to see on Project Runway, but after they had the wrestlers on a couple seasons back, this sort of thing seems tame in comparison. Of course, we're going to have a lot to say about the crack-based decisions of the judges in the days to come, but let's focus on the winner and the loser for now.

"I chose to work with Ra'mon. I wanted to work with someone that could carry me on this challenge."

How fucking un-self-aware can one person possibly be? How in the hell does someone get on a reality show competition with that kind of attitude? How in the hell did he think that kind of attitude was appropriate at all? We were puzzled by the hatred for the guy after the previous episodes, and truth be told, we still can't work up the emotions to hate him now. But after his jaw-dropping performance (which consisted of not performing at all) last night, we can say that sending him home was the one RIGHT decision the judges made last night. Which is part of the reason why we sense the fingerprints of the producers on this one. Or at the very least, we sense that the judges had zero respect for the guy and sent him home for that reason alone. Heidi seemed like she was FURIOUS with him.

Aside from a couple seconds of ironing, we didn't see him do one thing last night. And that couldn't have been editing because he openly, almost eagerly, admitted to Heidi that Ra'mon did all the work. Like we said, how un-self-aware can you be? Did he really think that made him look good? To anyone?

And Ra'mon was so clearly edited to be the hero in this little saga. Normally, we would have been able to tell that he was getting the winner's edit, but we couldn't bring ourselves to believe that what they were working on was ever going to wind up anywhere but among the lowest scores.

Well, mission accomplished, producers. It was nothing if not an entertaining hour because we spent the whole time having no idea what the hell was going on - surf wear + avant garde? What? - and no idea how the hell it was going to turn out because EVERY SINGLE GARMENT looked awful to us. In fact, we got an email from a PR alum right after the episode declaring it the worst runway show ever seen in the history of Project Runway. If it's not, it's close to it. We're having a hard time remembering when there was so much ass on the runway at once. And we don't think that was due to lack of talent. There's plenty of talent in this bunch. It was the bizarre challenge that yielded those results.

Model: Fatma Dabo

This was...okay. That's it. An okay dress that a first-year fashion student could have put together.

Are the boobs and the straps supposed to be that uneven? A deliberate titscrepancy? Who can say? Pass the crack pipe!



It's just your basic flowy drapey dress in a pretty fabric with a big ol' belt. Done and done. You know what it's not? SURF WEAR. Supposedly there was a bathing suit under this. Right. Because every woman wears a belted cocktail dress to the beach.

Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald

You want to hear something really crazy?

LORENZO LIKED THIS. The crack fumes were pouring out of our TV, apparently. That's the only explanation Tom can come up with.



In fact, Tom is staying out of this one altogether. He thinks this looks like a laundry accident and that's all he has to say about it. Lorenzo will now point out what he likes.

He likes the detail on the bust and the way the neoprene "drapes" to form those shapes.

He even likes the effect from the dye. He admits that it's not a great dress, nor is it avant garde in any way, but it was the best of a shitty lot.

Anyway, it seems to us that the producers/judges were in love with the idea of doing something NEVER BEFORE DONE IN THE HISTORY OF PROJECT RUNWAY echo...echo...echo... They were going to auf the designer from the winning team. Like we said, we can't argue with the auf'ing, but the choice of the winner was awfully suspect to us. Then again, there wasn't a whole hell of a lot to choose from on that ass-tastic runway last night.

And so an adieu to Bitchell. Despite everything, we still maintain that he wasn't a villain and is probably a sweet guy. Even Max Azria said so. Or at least his subtitles said so because every word that came out of his mouth was pretty much unintelligible. The thing is, he displayed an infuriating attitude last night and all we can think of are all those designers who almost got chosen for season 6 but didn't make it because someone who can't sew and seemingly had no interest in designing or competing was chosen over them.

Extended Judging Video:



Mitchell's Exit Interview:


[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Videos: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]



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Bitchell

A little controversy for the weekend? Why, we don't mind if we do!

"The first thing that America is going to know about me is that I sent a naked lady down the runway."

And the next thing America is going to know about you is that you can't sew.

Yes, kittens, this will be the post where we step in a pile of shit by defending the new most-hated designer. We don't get it. We read all the comments from people proclaiming their hatred of this mostly inoffensive, somewhat personable guy and our mouths drop open in disbelief. It's almost as if people have waited so long for Project Runway to return that they're slightly overreacting to its arrival.

From a personality point of view, what has he done that's offended people so much? Yeah, he tried to blame his shitty design of last week on the fact that his model wasn't the size he thought she was and then switched models, causing the girl who worked the hell out of his caftan to go home. Not exactly covering himself in glory, we admit. But it's also not exactly the bitchiest or nastiest thing we've ever seen on the show. Not even close to it, in fact.

Plus, as far as we can tell, the other designers adore him. He seems to be laughing and giggling his way through the workroom and no one seems to mind. In fact, they all seem to enjoy his company. He called Ra'mon's dress a bowling bag and instead of getting annoyed, they both giggled over it. If he was as bad as a lot of the viewers seem to think, wouldn't we be hearing that from the other designers?

Yeah, the models don't like him. Part of that is because he's a "model jumper," a term they coined that we love, and part of that is because they think he's going to be auf'd any minute and don't want to be the girl on the runway in the shitty outfit. They have reasons not to want to be his model, but they don't add up to reasons for the vitriol we've been seeing from viewers. By the way, he's not the only designer to model jump, which reinforces our point that they hate him because they fear working for him is going to get them auf'd.

Maybe some of the anger is motivated by the feeling that both of his outfits so far should've sent him home. Thing is...

Model: Kalyn Hemphill

We don't think he should have gone home for this outfit. Especially in light of Malvin's chicken costume. That's why he's still here. He sent out two HIGHLY problematic looks that easily could have gotten him auf'd but lucked out because in both instances someone else sent something worse down the runway. Why that pisses some people off, we don't know. That's always been the way of Project Runway.

To go even further into Controversy Land, we think this was a pretty decent outfit, from a style perspective.

HORRIBLE execution, absolutely. No argument from us. And as we said, on another day he could have and should have easily gone home for it. Especially since it's the second badly executed look in a row from him.

But if you squint your eyes and tilt your head and pretend that everything fits perfectly and was sewn perfectly, it DOES have a certain "L.A. celebrity mom" style to it, which, not coincidentally is exactly for whom the outfit was designed. It's probably a bit too youthful for Rebecca Romijn, but she admitted that she could see some of her girlfriends wearing it.

We suspect that this is part of why he keeps skating by. As bad as his outfits are, you can still see a certain sense of style there. In fact, it's probably a little early to be making this prediction, but he strikes us as more of a stylist than a designer. He can put a look together. He just can't design one from scratch and he definitely can't execute one.

But fear not, Mitchell-haters. He obviously used up all his chances. No matter what anyone else does or how bad any of the other entries are, the next time Mitchell screws up, he's outta there. Nina has HAD IT with him:

"She's going to lunch with her girlfriends, they'll be going shopping, living her day-to-day activities."

"Is she showing up to lunch drunk? Is that it? She's an alcoholic? Or was she hit by a car on the way? I don't understand."

"She's hip and ...um...stylish..."

"And blind? Help Nina out here. Did she pull this out of her hamper? Is she depressed somehow? Did the father of her child leave her? Who IS this woman?"

"She looks messy, No?"

"She looks like SHIT. You are PISSING me off here, kid."

"Sorry. I'm Sorry Ni- Miss Garcia. Sorry. Please don't hurt me."

"I LOVE it when Nina get's pissed off! Don't you? It's so FUN!"

Honestly, we can't do it justice. Watch the extended judging to see just how pissed Nina got:




[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Video: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Top and Bottom

Get your minds out of the gutter!

Let's start with the top (haha!). He seems sweet, but perhaps a bit too serious. He turned out a pretty fine dress this week, but he strikes us as the type that may overthink things a bit too much.

Not that there was evidence of that this week. It's just a hunch we have. One thing's for sure...

...he turned out a killer look. It's not revolutionary or anything, but it's a beautiful dress with a lot of wonderful details.

Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald

We loved all the pin-tucking and the treatment he did at the shoulder.

And we think that trains on red carpet dresses can quite often veer into obnoxious territory, but this one was restrained and classic.

And we loved the back of it.

Our criticisms are thus:
He managed to stop just before he got into overworked territory and that's something he needs to keep under control. The color is boring and we think it's the main reason why the judges said it looked like a dress for a mature woman. Had he picked a more vibrant color, it would have looked more modern and trendy. And finally, there were some technical issues. You can see every seam and pucker from 20 feet away and the bust doesn't fit so great. We think that these are the reasons why he came in second. It is, as we said, a beautiful dress, though. He's definitely one to watch.


And in the "words that'll bite you in the ass" category...

"I love pressure, give me as much pressure as you can give me and I will make something beautiful."

We can just picture the producers hearing that and running off to fill out his model card, trying mightily to stifle their laughter the whole time:

Height: 4'10"
Bust: 19"
Waist: 12"
Hips: 14 1/2"

At which point, they all fell to the floor, rolling around and clutching their stomachs in laughter, tears rolling down their face.

So what did Mitchell do when he read his model card?

He went for a "Ma Ingalls in ABBA" dress that defies belief. We haven't seen smocking like that since Holly Hobbie was a fashion icon.

He's damn lucky his model turned out to be gigantic, because if he'd sent that misguided attempt down the runway, Nina's and Michael's heads would have exploded.

There was so much else going on in the episode, but looking at this screencap...

... and this one, it looks like he attempted two more looks before he settled on the final dress.

Finally, in a burst of last minute desperation, he put a smocked pseudo-Elizabethan collar on a sheer curtain and called it a day.

Model: Yosuzi Sylvester

We can't believe we're saying this, because the "dress" he sent down was so sheer and so barely put together that it bordered on imaginary, but we can kinda see where the judges were coming from in keeping him.

Despite its lack of...well, almost anything, there was still a certain style to it. Like something Lola Falana would have worn for a TV special in 1972.

Yeah, that collar was pretty ridiculous, and the outfit was more about her panties than about any technical skill Mitchell brought to the table, but he benefited from Ari turning out something far worse and we think the judges were a little impressed that he pulled something together that had a little style and attitude to it when he was up against the wall and had almost no time to course correct.

Two bits of business before we go: As you know, we have a TON of dresses to rip, so we'll be posting throughout the weekend. Keep checking back. Also, check out the cool new widget on the sidebar of the front page, which keeps you up to date on all the supplemental posting we're doing on our Facebook page. We're so tired, kittens! We want to take a shower and a nap!

Extended Judging Videos:




[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Videos: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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