Launch My Line: Eric's Collection

Let's send LML to bed by taking a final look at the collection that was all about winding up in bed.

Okay, this is going to be a fairly harsh review, but we want to say first that he seems like a pretty decent guy. There was no drama coming from him and we can't recall him ever saying a bad word about anyone else on the show. That's commendable. We also want to say that there's nothing wrong with a collection of sexariffic club wear in theory.

Okay, that was us being nice. It hurt. Let's move on.










Pause for a moment and reflect on the fact that the judges praised this I Dream of Hooker nightmare of a dress. This is a red carpet dress for the Adult Video Awards. All it needs are lucite heels and about 10 lbs of silicone.



This is a collection of one-button dresses. You know, the kind that fall to the floor after unhooking one strap or button, allowing you to step out of it and get on with business in your thong and fuck-me heels.

There's no greater criticism of the judges on this show than merely pointing out that this designer made it all the way to the end and even when they eliminated him, they gushed over his collection. Look, we hate to make unfair Project Runway comparisons, but Michael Kors would have been on the floor laughing his ass off at this collection and Nina would be off somewhere vomiting. Even Heidi would think some of these looks were a bit much.

Like we said, we have no problem with a collection that's all about sexy club wear. What we do have a problem with is how tacky and unimaginative all of it is. We don't exactly love, say, Baby Phat, but that's a design collection that plays in the same sandbox as this one and yet you can watch a Baby Phat runway show and not think the models are all walking petri dishes of venereal disease (Sorry, Amanda! We love you!). There's nothing fun about this kind of sexiness; nothing that starts from the point of the woman wearing the dress, instead of the man looking at the woman wearing the dress. That's why it's so easy to throw around words like "hooker" and "stripper" when talking about these looks. These aren't the dresses of women loving themselves and loving their bodies and having fun with their sexiness. These are the dresses of women who need attention from men when they go out, otherwise there's no point in going out.

[Photos: Trae Patton/BravoTV.com]


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Launch My Line: Episode 7

Alright kittens, let's get down to it.

WANT: This show to be better.
NEED: This show to be over.

Here's an idea. How about instead of stunt-casting the Wonder Twinks, Bravo just reaches back into the pool of talent they helped nurture and use them to host/judge the show? Kara Saun had more interesting things to say, made better connections with the designers, and showed more comfort and ease in front of the cameras than Dan and Dean did the entire season. And think how much time could be saved without the twins having to change their outfits every time the camera sets up? Cast Uncle Nick as the host and get Kara Saun, Jay, and Laura to be the judges. We'd watch the HELL out of that. Wouldn't you?


So congrats, Kathy and Emil, who had to come up with a look that went from company party to a hot night club opening.

I don't know what "company" this chick works for but it's got a pretty lax dress code, wouldn't you say? The jacket's fine but the top is slutastic.

We like the skirt.

But we hate THAT. Gals, answer this: would you wear a flip-up skirt? It's like reversible wrap dresses. Clever, but who the hell would wear that?

Eric and Galina: Religious event to a high society cocktail party

We don't actually hate this. Maybe it's just that it's probably the least offensive look they've put out so far. It's not exactly classy or demur, but it is for those two.

THAT's awful, though.

We like the fabric they chose for the top and we like the idea of a bejeweled collar, but these two elements don't go together as well as they should.

Merle and Thai: Company party to a high society cocktail party

Not a bad entry, all things considered. She should have really had this one in the bag, though.

The jacket's kinda bleh.

But that back is spectacular.

And that hem is weird.

Louanna and Jim: Baby shower to a movie premiere

The judges said that Louanna failed to make a suitable baby-shower-to-movie-premiere outfit. You know why, judges? THERE'S NO SUCH THING. Not that it excuses the weirdness of this design. For one, the colors are pukey. Who wears a shiny white pants suit over a shiny pink blouse? Gross.

For another, there's just way too much volume all over this thing. Volume on the jacket sleeves...

Volume on the blouse...

And volume in the pants. Honey, turn the volume down. Oh wait. They sent you home. Never mind.


[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

Hey! Remember this show?

Eric & Galina

Believe it or not, we almost like this look.

First, we would have to get rid of that ill-advised vest and of course we would have to switch out those glaringly mismatched shoes...

And the dress fits her terribly, but we really like the way they treated the fabric. For these two, it made for a surprisingly interesting look.

Kathy & Emil

This, on the other hand, was surprisingly bad.

We say "surprisingly" because even when they weren't hitting it out of the park, you could usually count on them for a solid piece, mostly well executed, rendered in some eye-catching color combinations.

We're not seeing any of that here

The fabric is HIDDY ...

And the whole thing borders on vulgar. Plus, what's up with the fugly colors?

Louanna & Jim

Up is down and black is white because this crack-is-whack show has us defending a designer we're not inclined to defend...

...and defending a look we'd never normally have much to say about.

Okay, let's get this out of the way: It's an outfit you could literally buy anywhere in America for under 50 bucks. Under 30 if you really know what you're doing. As such, no, it's not high fashion in any way whatsoever.

You know what? NEITHER IS ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS SHOW. We found ourselves getting annoyed at the judges sniffing over this look. The fact of the matter is, they were two well-made and well designed pieces and on a show with SO MUCH ASS on the runway, she should have been lauded for putting out something that doesn't look like a joke.



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Launch My Line: Congrats & Goodbye

This show has lost ALL credibility with us!
HAHA! Just kidding!
It never HAD any!

The sweet, creamy crack was flowing last night. For one, no one seemed to know what the hell the challenge was supposed to be. Create a "wild card" look! Using these sunglasses! And it should be avant garde! Okay producers, you need to up your ritalin intake because that made ZERO sense.

She was actually pretty cool and sweet about the whole thing. We like her.

Especially since it looked to us like she deliberately picked the one fabric that was going to be most problematic for the designers to use. Gotta love a stealth bitch.

What the hell kind of DJ doesn't know who Lady Gaga is? All this time we thought he was some sort of Miami club DJ but now we're thinking he just does weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

Props where they're due: even though she's annoying as hell and hasn't ever previously demonstrated anything approaching taste, at least she knew he was coming up with a super-tacky design. Then again....

He won, didn't he? Let us repeat that while you take a good look at that picture. HE WON. FOR THAT.

If it was one of those instances where he won by default because everything else on the runway looked like shit, we could understand it, but no. The judges actually loved this.

Now, we've never treated this show like anything but the guilty pleasure reality TV it is, but even we had to do a little rethink after this. Any judge who raves about this dress should immediately recuse themselves from ever having anything whatsoever to do with the fashion industry ever again.



Sure, it's made well, for the most part, and it's not like it's some sort of fashion catastrophe, but come ON. It's CLEARLY the cheapest, tackiest-looking thing one could ever come up with. We sat there and listened to the judges raving about it and we were all "Seriously? SERIOUSLY?"

The problem with that judging panel is there's no one there to look at the rest of them and say "Are you NUTS?" the way Nina would. It's 4 people who all seem to have the exact same taste and the exact same approach to judging. All they do is agree with each other. That's no fun.

Darlings, you know we have the utmost respect for women but last night we were both in agreement that if we had to deal with this annoying little pain in the ass, they would have had to pull us off her. Don't worry though, we probably would have just pulled her hair a little bit and made really nasty comments.

Up till now, we were of the opinion that both Marilyn and Coco were pretty much evenly matched in the annoying department but Marilyn deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for not going after this passive-aggressive little bitch with a pair of scissors.

After all, what would YOU do if you said this:

And the response you got was this:
Marilyn honey, you're a SAINT.

As for the dress, yeah it was bad but you know who should have gone home last night and it wasn't this team.

It was another in a line of over-the-top diva clothes. No, it wasn't good, but we really didn't understand it when the twins said her line wasn't cohesive. It may not be to our taste, but her stuff has been among the MOST cohesive in the group. Every outfit looked like it belonged in the closet of the same woman.

But man, was that ass shield ever ugly.

And come on, that was just stupid.



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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