Launch My Line: Congrats & Goodbye

This show has lost ALL credibility with us!
HAHA! Just kidding!
It never HAD any!

The sweet, creamy crack was flowing last night. For one, no one seemed to know what the hell the challenge was supposed to be. Create a "wild card" look! Using these sunglasses! And it should be avant garde! Okay producers, you need to up your ritalin intake because that made ZERO sense.

She was actually pretty cool and sweet about the whole thing. We like her.

Especially since it looked to us like she deliberately picked the one fabric that was going to be most problematic for the designers to use. Gotta love a stealth bitch.

What the hell kind of DJ doesn't know who Lady Gaga is? All this time we thought he was some sort of Miami club DJ but now we're thinking he just does weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

Props where they're due: even though she's annoying as hell and hasn't ever previously demonstrated anything approaching taste, at least she knew he was coming up with a super-tacky design. Then again....

He won, didn't he? Let us repeat that while you take a good look at that picture. HE WON. FOR THAT.

If it was one of those instances where he won by default because everything else on the runway looked like shit, we could understand it, but no. The judges actually loved this.

Now, we've never treated this show like anything but the guilty pleasure reality TV it is, but even we had to do a little rethink after this. Any judge who raves about this dress should immediately recuse themselves from ever having anything whatsoever to do with the fashion industry ever again.



Sure, it's made well, for the most part, and it's not like it's some sort of fashion catastrophe, but come ON. It's CLEARLY the cheapest, tackiest-looking thing one could ever come up with. We sat there and listened to the judges raving about it and we were all "Seriously? SERIOUSLY?"

The problem with that judging panel is there's no one there to look at the rest of them and say "Are you NUTS?" the way Nina would. It's 4 people who all seem to have the exact same taste and the exact same approach to judging. All they do is agree with each other. That's no fun.

Darlings, you know we have the utmost respect for women but last night we were both in agreement that if we had to deal with this annoying little pain in the ass, they would have had to pull us off her. Don't worry though, we probably would have just pulled her hair a little bit and made really nasty comments.

Up till now, we were of the opinion that both Marilyn and Coco were pretty much evenly matched in the annoying department but Marilyn deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for not going after this passive-aggressive little bitch with a pair of scissors.

After all, what would YOU do if you said this:

And the response you got was this:
Marilyn honey, you're a SAINT.

As for the dress, yeah it was bad but you know who should have gone home last night and it wasn't this team.

It was another in a line of over-the-top diva clothes. No, it wasn't good, but we really didn't understand it when the twins said her line wasn't cohesive. It may not be to our taste, but her stuff has been among the MOST cohesive in the group. Every outfit looked like it belonged in the closet of the same woman.

But man, was that ass shield ever ugly.

And come on, that was just stupid.



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

Kittens, we are so far behind on our dress-ripping! Let's get to it.

Marilyn & Coco

Don't you hate those passive-aggressive "thanks in advance" style of notes? The ones that make you go, "Don't thank me, bitch. I didn't agree to anything?"

Or is that just us?

It's...alright, we guess.

And that's why we get paid the big bucks for our incisive fashion commentary!



We hate to keep harping on this, but literally every look they send down that runway looks like something Wilhelmina would wear on Ugly Betty. All that big, drapey, off-the-shoulder stuff. Certainly, there are worse aesthetics to choose, but the clothes all look over-the-top in that soap opera way.

Louanna & Jim

Was it us or did she have a major bug up her ass the whole episode?

Of course, that could have been due to the fact that she screwed up on the design brief and she knew it. Which is fine, people make mistakes, but why get all huffy and defensive about it on camera?

It's not a bad little outfit either.

We, of course, love the belt.

And the zipper running down the skirt.

But man that ren-faire-esque peasant blouse was a bad idea. She looks like she should be serving tankards of ale in that thing and shouting "HUZZAH!" at weird times.

She's got decent (if not great) taste and a highly capable designer working with her, which is what got her through the challenge even though she didn't manage to fulfill it by making an evening look. It's not that we LOVE this look so much; it's just that it's inoffensive and styled well, which is no surprise because she's a stylist. We have to say, though: the most interesting part of the look was the boots.

Eric & Galina


Oh god, when are the Tacky Twins going home?

We're starting to fear that they may NEVER get sent home, because if something like this passes the judges' collective muster, what could they possibly do to get kicked off?

What can we say? It's tacky and hideous and the styling is pure 1996, which is apparently what year it is inside their heads.

It's like a parade of hookers outside the VMAs.

And let's face it: he can't defend his work because IT'S NOT HIS WORK. There has not been one moment where he has offered any opinion to his designer other than agreement with her ideas.

[Photos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

Butt wait! There's more!

Marilyn & Coco

These two have one of the more irritating relationships on the show, though not the worst by a long shot (guess which team THAT is, bitter kittens!). They're two personalities that are absolutely not suited to each other.

And yet, as a team they have potential because they keep sending out fairly polished, stylish (if a bit over the top), and wearable looks.

It's a bit too much in the Halston/Studio 54 mode to look modern enough to us (although that ... thing on her head can't be helping much).

But we like the color; the proportions are elegant; and we like the little touches like the sash.

But there is no excuse for THAT. She looks like a slutty USO chorus girl.

Merle & Thai

On the other hand, these two seem to have a great relationship. They're definitely on the same page. She knows what she wants to do and he knows how to do it for her.

We can't say we love this because we can't say we love anything that looks like a high end track suit, but at least it has a few things going for it.

It has nice proportions and feels more modern than Marilyn and Coco's. It has a lot of nice touches. It seems like thought was put into every single element: the sleeves, the neckline, the cuffs. You could argue that it's a little over-designed, but we think it's all those elements that prevent it from being a track suit. Unfortunately, it has a decidedly pajamas-esque feel that doesn't help it.

Patrick & Roberto

Worst team ever? You betcha!

There was absolutely no excuse for this. Everyone else had finished looks walking that runway. Roberto never really demonstrated an inability to manage his time before. Quite the opposite; he always managed to work in the time to schedule operatic hissy fits of grand proportions. It makes us wonder if he didn't just deliberately take his own sweet time on this one.

But here's the thing: Patrick's got to shoulder some of the blame here. Yes, he's been sweet so far, but that's the problem. He needs to break out the bitchpants pronto. And we mean the leather, studded bitchpants.

Plus, even if you think he couldn't possibly get a saddle on Roberto, you have to at least admit this:

There is a DEFINITE taste issue at work here.




We're sorry. There's no defending this. In all seriousness, not even a hooker or a stripper would wear this, that's how awful it is. And let's face it, it's been a string of mostly awful with these two so far. There was a promise in the beginning of colorful over-the-top clothes but all we've gotten is colorful messes. We can't honestly say if the judges had good reason to keep this team in for one more week or if the producers just want to keep them in for drama. We don't know the players well enough to speculate. We know this: unless they do something damn impressive next week, they need to go home.

[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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