LML: Runway Rundown

Arrrh, matey!

Patrick & Roberto

It's kind of endearing how Patrick always looks absolutely terrified whenever he has to face the judges. We don't know why. They obviously have no taste whatsoever.

They gave this a pass, didn't they?

Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens. Now who do you see?

That's right. NO ONE. No woman in her right mind would ever wear this unless a gun was held to her head by a crazed fashion designer (i.e., Roberto).

Seriously? Come on now.

It's so bad that it's not even deserving of a critique.

That is the cheapest-looking, ugliest fabric we've seen in a long time. It out does even the DJ's tacky disco ball dress. We've always been completely comfortable with the idea that this show doesn't have any credibility from a fashion point of view, but how about some credibility in the "not making us throw up from the searing eye pain" point of view?

Louanna & Jim

We just don't know about this one, kittens. We're not really trying to defend it, but put up against some of the shitdresses this crowd throws out, it's practically a CFDA winner.

What is with the drag queen aesthetic on this show? We don't mind it so much, but it's a little weird how over the top every look is. Granted, when you don't have talent, the best thing to do is go as wild as you can go.

Which is strange, because Louanna and Jim DO have some talent and have shown some admirable restraint. This looks more like something that would come from Marilyn and Coco.

Those sleeves are interesting, we have to admit. We tend to think that such a dramatic flourish should only be applied to a very minimalist design.

And granted, the dress is sleek and the other embellishments, like this one, are low-key.

But coupled with the shiny, and the ridiculous length and volume, not to mention the frigging eye patch, it just adds up to way too much.

But at least Laverne has a gown for the next Bottler's Ball. Shirley must be pissed.

[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown Part 2

Kittens! We completely forgot about this show!

Sage Chick and Bean Pole (sue us, we can't remember their names):

They seem to have a pretty good working relationship. Drama-free and productive. Must be the sage.

We'll say this: we don't know if it's one or both of them, but collectively, they do have a great color sense.

It's not a bad little dress. It's a bit simplistic with minor touches of interest, like the draping.

But it's the belt that really makes it. We're not fond of that braiding they always return to, but the pop of color is really nice and we always were suckers for an orange/blue combo. Just look at our front page.

But enough about the dress. What's really important is that sage girl...

...looks like she belongs on a box of salt.

Attention Whore and Fancy Man:

We suspect the producers drugged one or both of them. How else to explain their relatively low-key performance this week?

And how else to explain the sheer shitasticness of this thing? You heard it here first: drugs.

Yikes. We'll say it: there's not one thing about this dress that we like, starting with that hideous print, which screams "Christmas sweater."

We guess we should commend them for not using it in such a way as to actually look like a Christmas sweater, what with all the strings and asymmetry and gewgaws and foofarah, but that's about the only thing we can commend them on: not making their hideous fabric look even more hideous.

Seriously, the entertainment value of these two (if such a thing ever existed) has long been depleted. Time to go.

In other news, the next episode brings the gay and the fabulous in a big loud way with the appearance of Lady Gaga. Gotta hand it to Bravo. The best Lifetime can do for their season premiere is a reality TV star who was interesting for about 5 minutes 5 years ago, but tacky little LML lands one of the hottest recording artists of the moment.





[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Video: BravoTV.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspor.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

Butt wait! There's more!

Marilyn & Coco

These two have one of the more irritating relationships on the show, though not the worst by a long shot (guess which team THAT is, bitter kittens!). They're two personalities that are absolutely not suited to each other.

And yet, as a team they have potential because they keep sending out fairly polished, stylish (if a bit over the top), and wearable looks.

It's a bit too much in the Halston/Studio 54 mode to look modern enough to us (although that ... thing on her head can't be helping much).

But we like the color; the proportions are elegant; and we like the little touches like the sash.

But there is no excuse for THAT. She looks like a slutty USO chorus girl.

Merle & Thai

On the other hand, these two seem to have a great relationship. They're definitely on the same page. She knows what she wants to do and he knows how to do it for her.

We can't say we love this because we can't say we love anything that looks like a high end track suit, but at least it has a few things going for it.

It has nice proportions and feels more modern than Marilyn and Coco's. It has a lot of nice touches. It seems like thought was put into every single element: the sleeves, the neckline, the cuffs. You could argue that it's a little over-designed, but we think it's all those elements that prevent it from being a track suit. Unfortunately, it has a decidedly pajamas-esque feel that doesn't help it.

Patrick & Roberto

Worst team ever? You betcha!

There was absolutely no excuse for this. Everyone else had finished looks walking that runway. Roberto never really demonstrated an inability to manage his time before. Quite the opposite; he always managed to work in the time to schedule operatic hissy fits of grand proportions. It makes us wonder if he didn't just deliberately take his own sweet time on this one.

But here's the thing: Patrick's got to shoulder some of the blame here. Yes, he's been sweet so far, but that's the problem. He needs to break out the bitchpants pronto. And we mean the leather, studded bitchpants.

Plus, even if you think he couldn't possibly get a saddle on Roberto, you have to at least admit this:

There is a DEFINITE taste issue at work here.




We're sorry. There's no defending this. In all seriousness, not even a hooker or a stripper would wear this, that's how awful it is. And let's face it, it's been a string of mostly awful with these two so far. There was a promise in the beginning of colorful over-the-top clothes but all we've gotten is colorful messes. We can't honestly say if the judges had good reason to keep this team in for one more week or if the producers just want to keep them in for drama. We don't know the players well enough to speculate. We know this: unless they do something damn impressive next week, they need to go home.

[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown Part 2

Let's wrap it up, put a stamp on it, and mail it, kittens.

Patrick & Roberto

But first, a correction, because we are so very ethical here at T Lo Communications International. We had been informed through various sources that Roberto had designed the dress Carrie Underwood wore to perform at the AMAs; the dress that was shockingly similar to one of the dresses from Carol Hannah's finale collection for Project Runway. Well, we heard straight from the horse's ass mouth that, while he has designed stagewear for Carrie, he did NOT design the CH ripoff dress.

There. Consider yourself informed. Moving right along...

We're all for CHDQs who know how to maximize their camera time. Despite all the crying of "I don't watch these shows for DRAMA!" the fact of the matter is, when there isn't any drama (see: PR seasons 4 and 6), the general consensus among the viewership is that the season is boring.

So, fine. Yay for the CHDQs, we say. Only, there's the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it, and Roberto here is definitely doing it the wrong way. For one, it's way too obvious. He might as well wear a sign around his neck that says, "NOTICE ME!!!!!" For another, he's just coming across as an asshole, plain and simple.

And for all the drama...

This team once again produced an ugly and unflattering look.

Not to mention that it barely looks sewn at all.

We'll give them credit for this, though: they do have an interesting sense of color and print, although we'd like to see them both get away from purple.

Kevin & Akiko

What to say about these two? She seems like a doormat half the time and he somehow got the idea in his head that fashion design is akin to cage fighting. To her we say, "Stand up, girl!" and to him we say, "Tone it down, buddy. It's a dress, not warfare."

Yikes. We barely recognized Amanda here in her "hooker secretary" getup. Why is it that those who provide the most drama almost always produce the worst garments?

It's a rhetorical question, of course. They provide all the drama because deep down they know their output is not up to par with other contestants'. Call it The Pepper Factor.

Tacky, ugly, unflattering.

Louanna & Jim

Even though we thought last week's winning garment was way over-praised, these two comprise another team that bears watching. She has taste and he has skills and let's face it, that's all you need to win this contest.

We're not super-crazy about the fabric picked for the sarong, but the swimsuit is pretty hot.

Although it would leave some very strange tan lines.

Marilyn & Coco

More drama for your mama. Quick psychoanalysis: Marilyn is a control freak and Coco is passive-aggressive.

We enjoy reality show drama in many forms, but we cannot abide the "I'm tired" excuse. You tried out for this show and unlike the (probable) hundreds of other tryouts, you got picked to be on it. Suck it up and quitcher bitchin'.

We still think kimonos make for strange beach attire, but as designs go, this isn't terrible.

What's terrible are the fabric choices. That lining is a little on the tacky side, but it might have worked if it hadn't been paired with that satin-y yellow.

Seriously, who wears shiny fabrics to the beach?



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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