Launch My Line S1E3: Congrats & Goodbye

BAM!

Hey kids! It's Rancho Fabuloso _TM Dan and Dean! In this special collector's edition boxed set, the globetrotting fashion pixies come complete with Rancho Fabuloso _TM fashion ensembles and one animal companion for each, Lloyd the Llama and Zoe Zebra! Mix and match!

Lloyd the Llama and Zoe Zebra's Rancho Fabuloso _TM fashion ensembles sold separately.

Kathy & Emil

Yeah. Those were the looks on our faces too.

"I like a little sage rolling when I'm creating because I feel like that's just when the ancestors come and spirits flowing through..."

"Your ancestors are drying out my contacts. You think maybe you could all catch up some other time?"

Kathy, no one likes to hear this, but your ancestors have questionable taste.

Aw, we're being harsh. It's not that bad. Wouldn't have been our pick for the win, but certainly salable and wearable with some style to it.

We're not supercrazy about the top.

And that belt. It pains us. The fabric choices were a great idea, but the way they utilized them - that faux primitive that's so hard to do well without looking cheesy - wouldn't have been our choice.

But the back is sexy and overall the look has nice proportions and a toned-down style. We're sure the halls of your ancestors are filled with cheering as they all catch up on their reality television viewing, Kathy.

Kevin & Akiko

Ugh. THIS one.

Not an awful person. Certainly we've seen far worse personalities rear their heads on reality television. Just absolutely the wrong personality for this type of show.

For one, his only concept of fashion design is what would look good on the floor next to the bed.

For another, he somehow got the idea that a fashion competition (normally a place for behind-the-back bitch-talking and vows-to-destroy in the Alexis Carrington mold) called for Survivor-esque smack-talking and fist-pumping. It got old super-quick and we predicted in the first episode that his elimination would come exactly when it did.

Props to Akiko for handling Kevin with professionalism and a sense of humor. She could have easily become offended or put off by his antics, but she dealt with them exactly the way they should be when the cameras are on you: dryly and with a roll of the eyes. It couldn't have been easy for her to remain drama-free, but she managed it.

Yikes.

I Dream of Jeannie: The Meth Years.

To be fair, the collar's got some interest.


But man, everything below that is a tragedy in clothing form.


He was actually very sweet in his post-elimination comments when he talked about his daughter. He just came into it with the wrong game plan is all.

Well. That, and the fact that he had no real fashion or design sense.


[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown Part 2

Let's wrap it up, put a stamp on it, and mail it, kittens.

Patrick & Roberto

But first, a correction, because we are so very ethical here at T Lo Communications International. We had been informed through various sources that Roberto had designed the dress Carrie Underwood wore to perform at the AMAs; the dress that was shockingly similar to one of the dresses from Carol Hannah's finale collection for Project Runway. Well, we heard straight from the horse's ass mouth that, while he has designed stagewear for Carrie, he did NOT design the CH ripoff dress.

There. Consider yourself informed. Moving right along...

We're all for CHDQs who know how to maximize their camera time. Despite all the crying of "I don't watch these shows for DRAMA!" the fact of the matter is, when there isn't any drama (see: PR seasons 4 and 6), the general consensus among the viewership is that the season is boring.

So, fine. Yay for the CHDQs, we say. Only, there's the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it, and Roberto here is definitely doing it the wrong way. For one, it's way too obvious. He might as well wear a sign around his neck that says, "NOTICE ME!!!!!" For another, he's just coming across as an asshole, plain and simple.

And for all the drama...

This team once again produced an ugly and unflattering look.

Not to mention that it barely looks sewn at all.

We'll give them credit for this, though: they do have an interesting sense of color and print, although we'd like to see them both get away from purple.

Kevin & Akiko

What to say about these two? She seems like a doormat half the time and he somehow got the idea in his head that fashion design is akin to cage fighting. To her we say, "Stand up, girl!" and to him we say, "Tone it down, buddy. It's a dress, not warfare."

Yikes. We barely recognized Amanda here in her "hooker secretary" getup. Why is it that those who provide the most drama almost always produce the worst garments?

It's a rhetorical question, of course. They provide all the drama because deep down they know their output is not up to par with other contestants'. Call it The Pepper Factor.

Tacky, ugly, unflattering.

Louanna & Jim

Even though we thought last week's winning garment was way over-praised, these two comprise another team that bears watching. She has taste and he has skills and let's face it, that's all you need to win this contest.

We're not super-crazy about the fabric picked for the sarong, but the swimsuit is pretty hot.

Although it would leave some very strange tan lines.

Marilyn & Coco

More drama for your mama. Quick psychoanalysis: Marilyn is a control freak and Coco is passive-aggressive.

We enjoy reality show drama in many forms, but we cannot abide the "I'm tired" excuse. You tried out for this show and unlike the (probable) hundreds of other tryouts, you got picked to be on it. Suck it up and quitcher bitchin'.

We still think kimonos make for strange beach attire, but as designs go, this isn't terrible.

What's terrible are the fabric choices. That lining is a little on the tacky side, but it might have worked if it hadn't been paired with that satin-y yellow.

Seriously, who wears shiny fabrics to the beach?



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown Part 2

Hit it!

Eric & Galina


In terms of design, it couldn't be any more basic. In terms of style, it's way too '90s South Beach. In terms of that gold rick-racky trim near the hem, we are appalled.


Kevin & Akiko

Between the spitting and the plotting, we'd about had enough of this guy by the end of the first hour.


The dress is fine. Nothing new or exciting but very wearable. Two things: the bust line's a little uneven and the fabric's a little Blanche Devereux's Lanai Cushion Collection.

Merle & Thai

A veteran of countless red carpet commentary bitchfests (not to mention RuPaul's Drag Race), we expect great things from Merle in this competition.

And while this isn't flawless by any means, it's a pretty good start and a baseline for her line, apparently.


She's all into the utilitarian aspect of clothing and how to give the consumer more bang for their buck. You can really lapse into gimmicky stuff from that starting point, but if she keeps it useful and stylish, she can give the judges something to talk about - in a good way.


Roberto & Patrick

Darlings, camera-hogging drama queens are the lifeblood of reality television blogging. Without them, where would we get our jokes? Unfortunately for them, we've been doing this a while and we have little patience for those CHDQs who can't even do it with a little finesse. Roberto here all but held up a sign that read "I'm only doing this to get camera time," it was that clumsy and obvious. As such, we will not reward him for his bumbling efforts. Roberto darling, one must do these things with some thought and preparation. One doesn't simply decide on the spur of the moment to have a hissy fit over nothing. One does the slow burn, with bitchy comments. That way, when the blowup comes, you've laid the groundwork and both you and your sparring partner will have plenty of opportunity to really get in there and get bitchy. Honestly. Must we teach you bitches everything?

As for the look:
Now we know why he suddenly decided to stage a hissy. He could smell the bad.


Look, Patrick's (surprisingly) a sweetie, and we can totally support dandy-ism in all its forms, but this is just a lot of color and shine piled on top of the poor girl with no thought to proportion or fit or style. It's like these two queens have a style concept no more broad than " A LOT - and PLENTY of it!"

[Photos: BravoTV.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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