We almost feel sorry for these designers because we're so sick of the previous episode by Wednesdays.
Model: Kalyn Hemphill
Irina said that her outfit made her model look "like a lady," and we can't help thinking she missed the point.
When a model goes to an "industry party" (even one as lame as that staged non-event), the very last thing she wants is to look like a lady. She's there to nab a job, not a husband.
There's nothing particularly wrong with this look. It's well executed and fitted; it's tasteful and the fabric choices are nice.
It's just that it looks like something someone twice this girl's age would wear. She wants to look young and hot, not demure.
And speaking of models who don't want to look demure...
Model: Ebony Jointer
Attention must be paid to Shirin, who took Ebony's request for a royal blue and gold satin jumpsuit, promptly filed it in the round file and instead came up with this sassy little look.
It's a really cute dress and it's also well executed and fitted.
Of course, we treated you all to our thoughts on the endless parade of "really cute dresses" yesterday, so we're not exactly thrilled with the look. We do like that back, though.
And like we said, she deserves kudos for not letting her client's bad idea derail her from doing what she does best.
Model: Celine Chua
Nicolas when on and on about how he "tailored" this look and ...uh, we don't see it.
Specifically, we're not seeing it around the bust area, where it's pulling away from the side. Also, isn't it a little weird that those bands of grey just sort of end at her collarbone?
Still, the overall effect is nice. We just wish it hadn't been rendered in a shiny white satin.
We'll say this: it's nice to see that Louise can get away from the retro looks when she wants to.
Nice job on all the pin-tucking. It gave the dress a little interest. Without it, the collar would have been overwhelming.
It's a cute little dress. It might be a bit too little a dress for such an over the top collar, but really, that's nitpickery.
Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald
Carrie Bradshaw on steroids. This is a bit much, frankly.
In case you couldn't tell, we're talking about the flower here. It's so big you can't even see the dress underneath it.
Which may just have been deliberate on his part because the dress is way too basic.
In fact, this concludes our critique because we have nothing else to say. But that never stopped us from shooting off our mouths. Strap yourselves in for a rant.
Perhaps it's because we spend more time than is healthy looking at these dresses, but kittens, we are OVER IT. We really want to cheerlead this show because we love it so much but we're deeply disappointed with the season so far. We said this already but it bears repeating: ENOUGH WITH THE "MAKE A PRETTY DRESS" CHALLENGES. All it does is give us 20 minutes of runway looks we could find in any department store. That's not why we watch Project Runway! We watch it for unbridled creativity under tight restrictions! We watch it to see talented people struggle with little in the way of time or materials to make something that shocks, surprises, and delights us! We DON'T watch it to see endless retreads of cocktail dresses and Easter Sunday frocks. ENOUGH, people!
And this isn't so much a criticism of the designers themselves. They all seem to have some talent and some level of creativity. Granted, we think a lot of them have been playing it safe so far, but that's because the show isn't giving them any incentive to NOT play it safe. Frankly, we blame this on the show's setting. We're ready to declare the L.A. background a failure. It's not that there isn't cutting edge fashion in L.A.; it's that the show decided to go the "starlet and stylist" route in the judging and there is NOTHING more boring than a critical response that amounts to no more than "I would/I wouldn't wear/buy that."
Yeah, yeah. We know that they're doing an unconventional materials challenge this week. We have some hope for the future. Of course, the fact that Eva Longoria will be sitting in the judge's chair tends to dash that hope somewhat. We want Nina and Michael along with the leading names in fashion, like DVF, Francisco Costa, Zac Posen, Betsey Johnson, etc, etc. If the show can't get that level of judge because of the L.A. setting, then here's an idea, Bunim/Murray: DON'T SET IT IN L.A. EVER AGAIN.
Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them dresses rollin'...
Gordana, we love ya, but you really need to step it up, girl.
Model: Tara Egan
Not that we hate the dress. We like it quite a bit, in fact.
It's just...it lacks oomph, y'know? In what's become typical for her, it's a basic dress with a twist. In this case, that woven panel running down the center.
Clearly that was no small feat from a technical standpoint and we salute her for it. But it seems to us she kinda blew her wad on that element and just made a basic dress to go around it.
Because really, there's nothing else to this dress.
Maybe if she'd picked a more exciting color. Laura Bennett accused us of always hating nude dresses, but that's not entirely true. We just think for Tara, something with a little more color would have made this dress pop more and made that center panel stand out more. Also, we'd be remiss if we didn't point out that the hem, especially in the front, is a little fucked up.
Color us disappointed. He was accessory-free this week. Perhaps Skipper and Midge raided his accessories closet. And speaking of 10-inch tall women...
Model: Katie Sticksel
This would have made a perfect Barbie dress. In other words, it's cute and feminine and bright, but it looks kind of silly on a grown woman.
She looks like one of those frilled cocktail picks. All those pleated ruffles on top and bottom, coupled with that kind of half-assed sash around her waist didn't make for a very sophisticated look.
And the color didn't help. To his credit, he knew he was taking a risk with the color but we have to say, the risk did not pay off.
We like Christopher's work and aesthetic from what we've seen so far. Two words that describe it are "cute" and "feminine." But like anything else, there's a potential for going too far and this dress is evidence of that. You really can make something a little too cute and a little too girly.
"I want something fresh, simple but interesting, short but kind of long, sexy but prim, something to show my body but that covers me up, tight but loose, feminine but macho, and most of all, I only look good in dark colors, so make sure it's nice and bright."
Aahh, models. Don't ever change, girls.
Kudos to him for recognizing that he needed to take the wheel on this one.
Model: Matar Cohen
He put together something that's totally him while at the same time giving her something that she loved to wear. That's a designer.
We really loved this piece. About the only criticism we have for it (and we suspect it's the reason he didn't win) is that it didn't look very modern. Maybe this is because we've been holding our own private Sex and the City marathon this weekend, but it looks like something Carrie Bradshaw would have worn in seasons 1 or 2.
That back is gorgeous and very much in that deconstructed style of his.
And of course, we loved all the strips laid across the front. As Marc Bouwer pointed out, that couldn't have been easy to do without a lot of puckering and rippling. Heidi may have had a point about the bust, but we think that had less to do with any fit or design issues and more to do with the fact that Matar isn't big-boobed.
Still, it was nice to see him get some recognition and take his place in the top where we felt all along he belonged. As a designer, he's thoughtful in his approach and masterful in his technique.
And a big round of applause for Dr. Whitfield! She's been overworking her designs since week one but we have to admit she's more of a designer than we originally assumed.
Model: Lisa Blades
This week's look sealed the deal. It's still perhaps a little overworked - there are an awful lot of elements for such a relatively simple look - but she toned it down considerably.
Let's start with the only criticisms we have: the skirt fabric isn't what we would call sophisticated and that thing around her waist makes her boobs look droopy. If it didn't curve out at the top and bottom like that, it would have been more flattering.
But that's it. The rest of it is as close to perfect gets on Project Runway. We really love the work she did on that top. We like the sort of incongruous strap on her right. It gives a simple Wilma top some interest.
And we like the effect on the back of the skirt. Also gives what could have been a really simple silhouette some interest.
All in all, it's a chic, stylish and most importantly, interesting look. She probably should have won it. Good job, C.H.
"This challenge is actually kind of simple. I know what Emarie likes. We have the same aesthetic, we have the same idea, we have the same vibe. It's like designing something for myself if I were a black girl."
Oh, honey. With that one sentence alone you confirmed the years and years you spent in front of a mirror lip synching to Destiny's Child.
We think these two have the cutest designer/model relationship. She quickly became very good at cutting him down when he gets a little too big for his britches and calming him down when he's heading for another melt down.
Model: Emarie Wiltz
Unfortunately, their collaboration resulted in this.
We have to say that loudmouth was right. That IS a cute purse.
We really can't add anything to what the judges said. It's a mess. We don't really get the "bridesmaid" slam. That's not quite true. We get it (mainly because of the color); it's just that it wouldn't have been the first thing to come to mind for us.
More like a walk of shame dress to us. Those frayed edges at the bust are the only interesting thing he did but unfortunately, because the rest of the dress is so sloppy-looking, the effect is muted. They could have looked cool and edgy if the rest of the dress was impeccably done.
But it's just such a wrinkled mess that anything of slight interest was lost.
Design-wise, it's not that bad. Yeah, a little basic and yeah, he could have chosen a slightly more sophisticated color, but for us, the very worst thing about it is that it looks like it was rolled up in a ball at the bottom of her hamper. Still, we get why they kept him over Qristyl. He at least tried to some minor things to jazz it up.
Here you go, ladies. Tom would like it known that he used to have a pair of silver jeans just like these and hung onto them for years, partly because he paid a shit ton of money for them and partly because he knew they'd come back in style some day. Unfortunately, by the time they came back in style, Tom realized he was a bit past the age when he could get away with silver jeans and not look pathetic. It was with great sadness that he had to let them go. Let that be a lesson to the babies out there: wear your silver jeans while you still can.
Now these two had a weird relationship, we thought. Then again, it seems like Logan has weird relationships with every model he's worked with so far. He almost seems scared of them. Granted, Kojii had some strange requests.
Model: Kojii Helnwein
But he really should have put his foot down at some point and asserted himself as the designer. Because kittens?
This was a mess. Once again, we have little to add to what the judges said. It does look like an old prom dress reimagined. Like Molly Ringwald if The Psychedelic Furs had recorded a song called Pretty in Blue.
Bleh. The skirt's too full and messy looking. And it looks like it should have a poodle appliqued onto it.
The only thing we kinda like is what he did around her waist there. It's a shame it got lost in all that heavy black lace. Again, we get why he was kept over Qristyl. It's not a good look by any means, but he tried to do something with an edge and she did a basic cocktail dress. Point of view wins out over boring every time on this show.
Still, he's no fool. He knew how to get out of an auf'ing. Lucky for him there was a horny stylist on the judging panel.
"The dress looks like shit, but mommy likes what you're wearing."
"Jennifer, why don't we concentra--"
"Shut it. I don't think he's wearing underwear. Is that a visible penis line? Me-OW."
We almost feel sorry for these designers because we're so sick of the previous episode by Wednesdays.
Model: Kalyn Hemphill
When a model goes to an "industry party" (even one as lame as that staged non-event), the very last thing she wants is to look like a lady. She's there to nab a job, not a husband.
There's nothing particularly wrong with this look. It's well executed and fitted; it's tasteful and the fabric choices are nice.
It's just that it looks like something someone twice this girl's age would wear. She wants to look young and hot, not demure.
Model: Ebony Jointer
It's a really cute dress and it's also well executed and fitted.
Of course, we treated you all to our thoughts on the endless parade of "really cute dresses" yesterday, so we're not exactly thrilled with the look. We do like that back, though.
And like we said, she deserves kudos for not letting her client's bad idea derail her from doing what she does best.
Model: Celine Chua
Specifically, we're not seeing it around the bust area, where it's pulling away from the side. Also, isn't it a little weird that those bands of grey just sort of end at her collarbone?
Still, the overall effect is nice. We just wish it hadn't been rendered in a shiny white satin.
