Why are we asking you not to hate us? Because while we're in agreement with what seems to be most of you that the judging last night was fucked up, we're pretty much also in agreement with the judges' pick for win and auf.
We had high hopes for Ra'mon going into this competition and we really did think he was going to make it to the end. He's a thoughtful and occasionally innovative designer, but that doesn't always make for a winning reality show contestant.
He was floundering and second guessing himself constantly through every challenge. It was to his credit that he managed to produce a couple of attention-getting looks, but the impression we're left with is that he couldn't handle the stresses and constraints of the competition.
Seriously, how many catsuits are we supposed to give the guy? One was bad enough, but why would he go down that road again when he had to scrap it last time?
Sure, the last time he scrapped it he pulled a winning garment out of his ass at the last minute.
Unfortunately...
Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald
There were no winning garments to be found either in his ass or anywhere else on his person. His ass was tapped out on producing winning dresses.
Pardon us for a Philadelphianism that most of you probably won't get, but: Mummer Slut. Are we right, fellow Philadelphians? Does she not look like she should be marching on New Year's Day down Broad Street? And THOSE costumes are made by nearsighted old Italian ladies! What's HIS excuse?
It's just too over the top with nothing supporting it. In other words, it looks exactly like what it was: a lot of last minute crap thrown on in a save attempt.
It kills us that he thought this would land him safely in the middle. This had Bottom Three written all over it.
We're definitely sorry to see him go because he seems like a sweet guy and he's definitely a talented designer, but he'd done the "Ohmigod, I made something ugly! What was I thinking? I know! I'll pull some crap together at the last minute!" bit at least one time too many to stay in the game.
We were a little harsh in our initial assessment of this look. We'll give you a moment to get over your shock.
It originally came off as pretty generic, but he did one interesting thing.
He totally made that newspaper look like two fairly sophisticated prints.
Unfortunately, he didn't really do anything eye-catching with them. It's a pretty basic silhouette with pretty basic proportions.
Still, it was a decent, if understated, entry.
Model: Matar Cohen
Epperson's fauxmono was anything but understated.
In fact, we kind of love the whole drama of it.
It comes pretty close to costumey, but it's got such great sweeping proportions to it.
A mark against him in the technical area, though. The dress is entirely made of fabric with paper sewn to it. It's an interesting effect because of the way he used it, but it's not offering what the judges tend to reward in these kinds of challenges: innovative technique.
We'll say this: it's nice to see that Louise can get away from the retro looks when she wants to.
Nice job on all the pin-tucking. It gave the dress a little interest. Without it, the collar would have been overwhelming.
It's a cute little dress. It might be a bit too little a dress for such an over the top collar, but really, that's nitpickery.
Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald
Carrie Bradshaw on steroids. This is a bit much, frankly.
In case you couldn't tell, we're talking about the flower here. It's so big you can't even see the dress underneath it.
Which may just have been deliberate on his part because the dress is way too basic.
In fact, this concludes our critique because we have nothing else to say. But that never stopped us from shooting off our mouths. Strap yourselves in for a rant.
Perhaps it's because we spend more time than is healthy looking at these dresses, but kittens, we are OVER IT. We really want to cheerlead this show because we love it so much but we're deeply disappointed with the season so far. We said this already but it bears repeating: ENOUGH WITH THE "MAKE A PRETTY DRESS" CHALLENGES. All it does is give us 20 minutes of runway looks we could find in any department store. That's not why we watch Project Runway! We watch it for unbridled creativity under tight restrictions! We watch it to see talented people struggle with little in the way of time or materials to make something that shocks, surprises, and delights us! We DON'T watch it to see endless retreads of cocktail dresses and Easter Sunday frocks. ENOUGH, people!
And this isn't so much a criticism of the designers themselves. They all seem to have some talent and some level of creativity. Granted, we think a lot of them have been playing it safe so far, but that's because the show isn't giving them any incentive to NOT play it safe. Frankly, we blame this on the show's setting. We're ready to declare the L.A. background a failure. It's not that there isn't cutting edge fashion in L.A.; it's that the show decided to go the "starlet and stylist" route in the judging and there is NOTHING more boring than a critical response that amounts to no more than "I would/I wouldn't wear/buy that."
Yeah, yeah. We know that they're doing an unconventional materials challenge this week. We have some hope for the future. Of course, the fact that Eva Longoria will be sitting in the judge's chair tends to dash that hope somewhat. We want Nina and Michael along with the leading names in fashion, like DVF, Francisco Costa, Zac Posen, Betsey Johnson, etc, etc. If the show can't get that level of judge because of the L.A. setting, then here's an idea, Bunim/Murray: DON'T SET IT IN L.A. EVER AGAIN.
Oh, Tim. We could practically hear the cancer cells forming on your skin. We hope you scheduled a doctor's appointment right after shooting ended.
A completely fucked up challenge which yielded fucked up results that ended with fucked up decisions by the judges. We hate to say it, but here it is, folks. Here's the episode that proved that producer manipulation is alive and well under the new regime.
With the announcement of the "original" challenge, we groaned and rolled our eyes and thought "Whatever." They were bound to do some sort of beach-based challenge once they set the show in L.A. It's not the kind of thing we want to see on Project Runway, but after they had the wrestlers on a couple seasons back, this sort of thing seems tame in comparison. Of course, we're going to have a lot to say about the crack-based decisions of the judges in the days to come, but let's focus on the winner and the loser for now.
"I chose to work with Ra'mon. I wanted to work with someone that could carry me on this challenge."
How fucking un-self-aware can one person possibly be? How in the hell does someone get on a reality show competition with that kind of attitude? How in the hell did he think that kind of attitude was appropriate at all? We were puzzled by the hatred for the guy after the previous episodes, and truth be told, we still can't work up the emotions to hate him now. But after his jaw-dropping performance (which consisted of not performing at all) last night, we can say that sending him home was the one RIGHT decision the judges made last night. Which is part of the reason why we sense the fingerprints of the producers on this one. Or at the very least, we sense that the judges had zero respect for the guy and sent him home for that reason alone. Heidi seemed like she was FURIOUS with him.
Aside from a couple seconds of ironing, we didn't see him do one thing last night. And that couldn't have been editing because he openly, almost eagerly, admitted to Heidi that Ra'mon did all the work. Like we said, how un-self-aware can you be? Did he really think that made him look good? To anyone?
And Ra'mon was so clearly edited to be the hero in this little saga. Normally, we would have been able to tell that he was getting the winner's edit, but we couldn't bring ourselves to believe that what they were working on was ever going to wind up anywhere but among the lowest scores.
Well, mission accomplished, producers. It was nothing if not an entertaining hour because we spent the whole time having no idea what the hell was going on - surf wear + avant garde? What? - and no idea how the hell it was going to turn out because EVERY SINGLE GARMENT looked awful to us. In fact, we got an email from a PR alum right after the episode declaring it the worst runway show ever seen in the history of Project Runway. If it's not, it's close to it. We're having a hard time remembering when there was so much ass on the runway at once. And we don't think that was due to lack of talent. There's plenty of talent in this bunch. It was the bizarre challenge that yielded those results.
Model: Fatma Dabo
This was...okay. That's it. An okay dress that a first-year fashion student could have put together.
Are the boobs and the straps supposed to be that uneven? A deliberate titscrepancy? Who can say? Pass the crack pipe!
It's just your basic flowy drapey dress in a pretty fabric with a big ol' belt. Done and done. You know what it's not? SURF WEAR. Supposedly there was a bathing suit under this. Right. Because every woman wears a belted cocktail dress to the beach.
Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald
You want to hear something really crazy?
LORENZO LIKED THIS. The crack fumes were pouring out of our TV, apparently. That's the only explanation Tom can come up with.
In fact, Tom is staying out of this one altogether. He thinks this looks like a laundry accident and that's all he has to say about it. Lorenzo will now point out what he likes.
He likes the detail on the bust and the way the neoprene "drapes" to form those shapes.
He even likes the effect from the dye. He admits that it's not a great dress, nor is it avant garde in any way, but it was the best of a shitty lot.
Anyway, it seems to us that the producers/judges were in love with the idea of doing something NEVER BEFORE DONE IN THE HISTORY OF PROJECT RUNWAY echo...echo...echo... They were going to auf the designer from the winning team. Like we said, we can't argue with the auf'ing, but the choice of the winner was awfully suspect to us. Then again, there wasn't a whole hell of a lot to choose from on that ass-tastic runway last night.
And so an adieu to Bitchell. Despite everything, we still maintain that he wasn't a villain and is probably a sweet guy. Even Max Azria said so. Or at least his subtitles said so because every word that came out of his mouth was pretty much unintelligible. The thing is, he displayed an infuriating attitude last night and all we can think of are all those designers who almost got chosen for season 6 but didn't make it because someone who can't sew and seemingly had no interest in designing or competing was chosen over them.
Which is either a dream come true or annoying, depending upon your point of view.
Althea:
Model: Tanisha Harper
This was a contender for the win. You can tell the judges, Rebecca especially, loved it. It wasn't without its problems, though. And considering that the winning outfit was pretty much flawless, it just wasn't the time for Althea to produce a less than perfect look.
We really like that stripe detail in the bust and the straps. Without it, this would have been a nice, but mostly uninteresting design.
Unfortunately, the execution wasn't what it could have been. The finishing on them looks a little rough.
And from the back, they look pretty uneven. Honestly, we're being a little picky here, but like we said, this was not the week to show a less than perfect look and expect to win. Shirin really brought her A game.
The other area where she faltered was the design itself. No woman as pregnant as these models were attempting to appear is going to wear something as low cut and with as little support as that.
Especially if that woman is Rebecca Romijn, who's got a bodacious set even when she's not pregnant.
Still, a good try from Althea and definitely puts her in the "one to watch" category. Although it's notable that her dress last week had some finishing issues in the bust as well.
Louise:
Model: Lisa Blades
This was a very sweet, very sexy little dress from Louise and it hits all the right notes when it comes to maternity wear. As we said previously, women in this state tend to want to look pretty and feminine and even a little sexy. She nailed it on all those fronts.
And while this is all those things, it also fulfills the other major desire of pregnant women: comfort. This dress looks effortless to wear. Everything is well covered and non-binding, while still having an easy, breezy sexy feel to it.
It's probably a little short for some women's comfort zones, but again, we're talking Rebecca Romijn here, who did three blockbuster movies wearing nothing but some strips of latex and blue body paint. Body issues just aren't on her menu.
She did a nice job on the bust. Not only was the hand-dyed lace a nice touch, but she designed a bust for multiple sizes, knowing that a pregnant woman's boobs don't stay the same size for long.
And as Nina pointed out, the layered hem was a nice touch, too.
We have a bit of a reservation declaring that she's one to watch as well only because if you've checked out her portfolio, you know that this is a pretty standard look for her. She's probably made this dress dozens of times already. Pretty, but if she can only send these 1920s-inspired pieces down the runway, the judges are going to get bored or she's going to run into a challenge where she can't get away with it.
Ra'mon:
Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald
It's like an Olympics Closing Ceremony outfit for the Women's Labor & Delivery team. We really don't like anything about this look; hate the colors, hate the color-blocking, and when you take those elements away, you've got a very basic dress with some alarming technical issues. All the criticisms we had for his dress last week are even more evident this week.
Namely, his technical skills and his fit issues. He clearly has no idea how to fit a bust. Granted, his model is pretty flat-chested, but that should have made his job easier, not harder.
And, as we said last week, you can see every seam from twenty feet away. It's Puckerville all over again.
You would think that if he knows this, he wouldn't have gone with all that color-blocking, but again, last week he pin-tucked the hell out of his gown, so we're assuming that he doesn't recognize this deficiency on his part.
Look, it's a design competition and not a sew-off. Having less than perfect sewing skills doesn't mean you're out of the game. But designing things that highlight your lack of sewing skills is definitely asking for trouble.
It's not a great dress and it's not a great design. Those Nike swoops were such a bad idea it was kind of funny. Part of the reason he didn't get more shit from the judges for it is because he owned up to it immediately and showed a sense of humor about it.
Don't hate us, kittens.
Why are we asking you not to hate us? Because while we're in agreement with what seems to be most of you that the judging last night was fucked up, we're pretty much also in agreement with the judges' pick for win and auf.
We had high hopes for Ra'mon going into this competition and we really did think he was going to make it to the end. He's a thoughtful and occasionally innovative designer, but that doesn't always make for a winning reality show contestant.
He was floundering and second guessing himself constantly through every challenge. It was to his credit that he managed to produce a couple of attention-getting looks, but the impression we're left with is that he couldn't handle the stresses and constraints of the competition.
Model: Vanessa Fitzgerald
Pardon us for a Philadelphianism that most of you probably won't get, but: Mummer Slut. Are we right, fellow Philadelphians? Does she not look like she should be marching on New Year's Day down Broad Street? And THOSE costumes are made by nearsighted old Italian ladies! What's HIS excuse?
It's just too over the top with nothing supporting it. In other words, it looks exactly like what it was: a lot of last minute crap thrown on in a save attempt.
It kills us that he thought this would land him safely in the middle. This had Bottom Three written all over it.
We're definitely sorry to see him go because he seems like a sweet guy and he's definitely a talented designer, but he'd done the "Ohmigod, I made something ugly! What was I thinking? I know! I'll pull some crap together at the last minute!" bit at least one time too many to stay in the game.
